Why kids don't talk.

As a parent you sometimes wish that it were easier to communicate with your kids, and sometimes it can be frustrating when you can't. But as the adult we should try everything to communicate because your kids safety depends on it.
Don't think that your kids are just being rebellious when they don't talk to you, remember they are kids & even up to adolescence are still growing, their brains are still developing & certain important parts of their brains are still being formed.
Their judgment is sometimes impaired by this & they might find other things more important than telling you about any form abuse that may be occcuring.

According to statistics, in most of the physical abuse cases, the abuse is done by the parents or caretakers of the children.
A child in this situation may never get the help they needs because their own parents & people that should be caring for them are the ones that are mistreating them.
They feel alone & rejected & they usually think that they deserve it because they did something wrong & therefore never tell anyone.
Their self-esteem is so low that they don't think that there is any other way that their life can be & they spend their life trying to please their abusers.
In these situation there have been cases in which the child defends & protects the abuser because of the codependency that they have formed, the child feels that they are only worth something if the abuser approves of them.
These are the difficult cases in which someone from the outside must step in & do something.

In the cases when a child is being physically abused by someone in the family but not necessarily their parents, then the child needs to have a good communication with their parents in order for them to open up.
If they aren't talking it might be because they are scared that the abuse may get worse if they expose the person & their parents don't believe them. Its important to always give your child the benefit of the doubt when faced with this kind of problem.

When the case is that of someone totally unrelated to the child, then it will probably be easier for the child to talk.
Depending on the case the child may offer the information their own, but if its a teacher or a coach & they have to see them daily then they might need a little prodding from you.
Most of the time it's fear or guilt that keeps them from talking.
Fear that they may cause the abuser to turn his rage against them if he is caught & thus get beaten worse & guilt because they may think that they were bad or did something to deserve it as many abusers make the children think.

Sexual abuse is probably the hardest thing for a child to talk about for a lot of factors. One is fear of getting in trouble with the abuser & also fear of getting in trouble with the people that they tell for the abuse, because of the guilt that it may have been their fault that it happened in the first place.
There is also the embarrassment factor, children feel embarrassed about sexual abuse.
Children very much care what people think & say, it might sound strange but kids are very embarrassed when they are sexually abused because of the fear that people may think that they wanted it or caused it in any way.
The sexual predator usually uses a form of seduction technique, a way of convincing their victim, these techniques make the abuser feel less guilty & in his sick mind he convinces himself that the child agreed to the abuse & maybe even led him on. And this idea is usually passed on to the child.
Let me say something on the subject of the child that is most likely to be sexually abused in my opinion.
First let me state that it can happen to any child, but there are children with a certain type of character that may be the ones that are targeted the most by pedophiles.
A trusting, timid & overall sweet child may be one of the "perfect" targets. Why?? Because they are easier to convince & easier to make them keep quiet.
This being said, the idea that they were willing partners may be an idea that is planted on the poor children's minds & therefore they feel embarrassed & NEVER tell.
To help children like this open up may be a long tiresome process, but its very important that they talk, not only to stop the abuse but so they don't take that guilt to adulthood. This kind of thing may cause grave problems as an adult.

Emotional & psychological abuse are probably the types of abuse that may get overlooked completely & sadly the types of abuse many people are imposing on children without even knowing that its abuse. Its a cycle passed on from parent to offspring. How many times have you heard " they raised me like this & that is why I raise my kids like this". People often & erroneously think that emotional & psychological abuse are a form of discipline & that is the way to keep kids in line.
Sometimes there are 2 victims in this kind of abuse & yes, one of them is the abuser. He is a victim of ignorance, not always but a lot of times they don't even know that what they are doing is incorrect.
A lot of times they are just following their parents footsteps & therefor never end the cycle of abuse from generation to generation. Most likely than not a child may never talk about this kind of abuse. You may know about it through some comment they might make, that refers to the abuse as something normal.
But there is also the emotional & psychological abuser that knows that its wrong & does it just to manipulate the children. But the same applies, kids come to think that its normal & that they deserve it or simply that that's the way it is in every household & so they don't address the matter as abuse.
Probably the best shot you get of hearing about this form of abuse is if the child refers to it as something normal in their household through an innocent comment.
These cases will probably not hold when it comes to doing something legally, but you can get close to the child & explain that that is not the right way to behave & maybe even get close to the parents to help them with their problem. Of course TACT is a key element here. Do not accuse or rebuke, be understanding & polite.
But whatever you do, keep the child in mind, never think that the child is better off without their parents (except in the case of sexual abuse).
They can get help & so can their parents, remember that parents whether they are with you or not, are an integral part of your growth as a person & we need to protect that parent- child bond as well.
Put children into safety physically, psychologically & emotionally.